Wanted everyone to see the events leading up-to and following finding out that Jeff was not going to skydive. I burned the shit out of him. Basterd...
Text to Jeff on Monday: You still in for friday/saturday?
From Jeff: I guess :-( I'm piss broke but then again, I'm gonna buy a laptop.
to Jeff: Laptops can wait. You need to live first!
*rest of texts are irrelevent*
Text from Allan Wednesday: Jeff can't go jump because he has pink eye!
I immediately call Allan. Conversation went something like..blah blah Jeff is a doosh..blah blah..pussy...blah blah..asshole...blah blah...lucky he got pink eye because I knew he wasn't going to go...blah blah blah...
Text to Jeff: doosh
From Jeff: fuck that ill still go if u want!!!! Hhahahaa
To Jeff: lol Naw its cool. You dont have to go if Youre scared.
From Jeff: Sheit. Don't use my stripper!
To Jeff: U know u still owe me $30. I put the deposit when u were still down.
From Jeff: Haha np
To Jeff: Call it the Pussy Fee
Fom Jeff: Ha!! I got hosed!.....for the next 2 weeks
SO... I was pretty much a dick to him. But he is a dick for sleeping with his contacts in and getting Pink Eye!
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9 comments:
Still no reply from Felix about Friday/Saturday.
This message is the final reminder to all 6 people that will be jumping. I had to lock in the final number by NOON today, so it is just the 6 of us. I didn't get any response from anyone else soon enough. Attendees: Allan, Cordell, Corey, Justin, Paul, Tom (in alphabetical order, don't get butt hurt Tom).
We will need 2 cars. Can fit 3 in each car. We can determine who is with whom later. I will drive one car, we need someone else to drive the other..duh! Figure about $20/person for gas. Cordell will be like...$8.
We have two room in Oregon. Each has two Queen size beds. The rooms are $79+tax each. That is $30/bed, $20 for floor spot. Choose who wants bed, who wants floor. I want a bed.
The jump is $159 if you pay cash, $169 if you pay credit/debit.
Keep these amounts + how much you plan on spending on hookers/strippers/drugs/booze for the weekend budget.
Skydive
hotel
sluts
We will be leaving right after work on Friday. I'll have my stuff packed and ready, and will start making phone calls around 3:30pm. If you are ready before then, lets meet at the Madenbeur Park in Bellevue if you live up north and Jeff/Allan house if you live down south...ALLAN. And Cordell can wait with his thumb up his ass until we get there. HA! I'm sure everyone has toys to keep them entertained while we wait to group up.
FOR THE JUMP:
What do I wear?
Wear comfortable clothing and athletic shoes (NO open toed shoes). On warm sunny days you may choose to jump in shorts and a t-shirt. On colder days jeans and a long sleeved shirt or sweatshirt may be appropriate. No bare feet or sandals are allowed.
How long does the skydive last?
Our turbine aircraft take you to an exit altitude of 13,000 feet which means your freefall will last approximately one minute and the parachute flight will be from 5 to 7 minutes.
What time will I jump, so my friends can watch?
If you are making a Tandem Skydive, jumps usually begin between 1 and 3 hours after your scheduled class time. The first hour of your day is spent on training and paperwork, so if your friends want to show up a bit later, that is okay. Once your class is trained, we assign groups to aircraft loads. Classes have 1 – 12 people and are comprised of various groups and individual students, so there will likely be more than one airplane flight and not everyone will be on the first load. We suggest you plan 2 – 3 hours for weekday tandem jumps and 3 – 4 hours on weekends.
Alphabetically I am last, which means last in the mantrain, which means that everyone is gonna get butt hurt. Hi Paul!
My Car can fit 6. but I don't know if you guys want to cruise to Oregon in luxury. Do you like luxury? (also the morbid 5 percent chance that the car breaks down on the way back).
Well I don't know about you guys but I will hook up with some floozy and sleep over there.
Assuming that doesn't work out,
I'm sleeping on the bed, but only after I get buckass naked in it first so you monkeys can't kick me out. That is, unless you get all retard strong from the thought of me naked and try to physically remove me from the bed. And no, I will still pay $20.00 even if I have Shanghai'd your bed
And Jeff is a weiner. The only way you get pink-eye is from your eye getting in contact with fecal matter. I learned that from watching 'KNOCKED UP'
So Jeff's new superhero power is 'Shit Vision'
LOL Oh my god dude! I was fucking busting up at the first post, then only got better!
Don't know if any of them will get the Do you like luxury? part... Your car does fit six... We could all roll in the beast. It has low gas milage but it will be split 6 ways (not unlike Jeff's mom) instead of two cars split 3 ways (Like Allan's Mom and Sister)
Still pay only $20.. because who is going to fight a naked man? Corey might after he chugs some Jack and gets naked, too.
Fuck you guys. I aint fightin no naked man.
We should change jeffs nick name from Super Tan Asian Man. (Jeff went tanning in case you missed that) To Cornea Cornhole Man because jeff is such a pussy that he will rub fecal matter in his eye just to not go skydiving.
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