http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/05/23/eashark23.xml
Shark's virgin birth stuns scientists
A female hammerhead shark has given birth without the help of a male, after genetic tests revealed that its baby shark had no paternal DNA.
O M G W T F I don't know if you know what this means, but by the title of this post, I think you do..
Jesus has returned to us in the form of a shark. What does this mean? Will we see the same civil, nonviolent wussy jerk of 2000 years old?
(Jesus the 00 AD version.)
OR will we see a Jesus more fit for the 21st century. One that doesn't mind taking a bite out of sin.
(the MEGA JESUS 2000)
12 comments:
Holy shark bite batman, it's the jesus fish. God himself has come down to teach us about peace and harmony through the mouth of a fukin hammerhead man. Millions of costal swimmers will be converted and he will make more 'fishers of men' by being a damn fish himself. I for one am moving to the coast so I can recieve the good lord's sharktooth message. I just need a bum to cut up and throw his body parts into the ocean so this shark-god will come lookin and then blammo sins are forgiven. With any luck he will change me into a fish apostle, maybe like a seahorse or something. If so i'll swim up the pipes and spread the good news through everyones toilet bowls. I'll have to deal with a lot of shit but hey somebody has to let people know that the great shark-jesus has arisen.
he can walk on land! its a miracle
So what does he have to give up at Lent... Fish.
"Fish are friends not food."
Damn it, you guys! This is a funny subject (hella funny post Adm1n) but...I'm afraid of the toothy wrath if I say anything blasphemous. I don't want to go to the boiling saltwater hell with the same theme music as "Jaws". So, I'll not comment on the size of this sharks nose to show the similarity to our original jewish lord. Think there some crab that parted the Red Puddle? NO! No...I said I wouldn't make fun.
Hail God Earth..I mean Jesus Shark.
I can see a crab with a huge beard saying 'Let my shellfish go'
I think the fishy hell you are really thinking about is the one from the little mermaid. Those shells don't come off and they don't have anything below, not to mention the controlling father. And the worst part of all the constant singing!!! UNDER THE SEA!
Jesus shark can turn water into brine.
Does he live in a pineapple? Under the sea? Or is that the anti-christ-shark
Adm1n, you bring up a good caution
The anti christ will return to us in a form we hardly recognize...
Wait, so we figured it out...He IS the anti-christ. The demon shark known as Lucifish, Lucifer's retarded cousin. Our assumptions have only made asses out of all of us. The real christ will come in the form of a porpoise. Wait, what about flipper? Was he the great reincarnation and we just commercialized him like christmas? Oh shit, we are all going to hell. Poor reincarnation of christ...they call him Flipper...Flipper...faster than lightning. Lassie must have been one of his apostles, along with Mr. Ed and Beethoven. Roll over in your grave Beethoven we know who you really are!
Wait...good German joke. Next time somebody tells a joke about the Holocaust or something to the like say "Thats not funny my grandfather died in a concentration camp during the war. He fell out of a watchtower" HA!
Adm1n....wow....You make me laugh hysterically and weep for your soul at the same time. You will be reincarnated as a brine shrimp and stuck in the scillia of a whale for all eternity!
Jesus-Fish Forgive You!
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