Burn Board

Hahah, take that you fucking scalpers!

2008-01-04T09:09:00.000-08:00

Seahawks ticket buyers have time on their side
Prices are falling as Saturday's playoff game draws near

Fucking scalpers need to get punched. But look at them now, stuck with tickets in their hands and forced to sell them at nearly face value! You fucks thought you could make a dollar, huh? I hope you LOSE Money! And, I hope that stadium gets packed with fans who deserve it.

even in death, we can be immortal

2007-12-30T22:21:00.000-08:00

Vlad Tepes is considered one of histories greatest villians. He is most famously known as a basis for the original vampire. The original Dracula.

He ruled a small kingdom in the Balkans. His subjects lived in fear. His enemies lived in fear. After Tepes would defeat an army, he would impale prisoners on large pikes and leave them in the hills for all to see. He would do this to those not loyal to him. He would do this to powerful families to keep them in order. He would do this to those who broke the law.

The Impaler. Some had the pikes driven up their asses. Others hung by their rib cages. Others would decay and gradually slip to the ground, their own weight and gravity fighting the friction of the pike, forever spiked into the earth. Hundreds of bodies, impaled and hoisted in the air for all to see.

During this time, the Turkish Empire was growing in ambition. They had just vanquished Byzantium. The Fall of East Rome had just occured. West Rome could not muster the chaotic Europeans together to stop the Muslims. Europe could not unite to stop a powerful force like the Turks.

Kingdom by kingdom fell to the powerful Turks. Their ambition was to seize all of Europe. They certainly had the armies to do so.

The Turkish armies approached the kingdom of Tepes. At night, they thought they were approaching a forest. But as they drew closer, they realized this was not a forest of wood, but of bodies spired on 20' pikes. Tens of thousands of corpses hanging from poles. A forest of bodies.

The Turks withdrew their Balkan invasions - The troops feared what evil lay beyond the forests of death. No man was capable of this - It must have been demonic. The troops lost all morale to carry on any further, their leader grew sick and withdrew his armies. One insignifant kingdom buried in the woods and mountains and mists of Translyvania. One man.

No matter how large your enemy is, put enough fear in them so that even in death, they fear you. Even in death we can be immortal.

No November Topics?! Here's one for Christmas...

2007-12-21T09:28:00.000-08:00

How did you do on Christmas Bonus?

From my work I got a $50 Gift Certificate for Best Buy.
From my INSURANCE company, I got a $95.21 check.

WTF?! My Insurance company gave me a better Year-End bonus than my Job!

Take California..

2007-10-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

Google Maps offers evac routes and a map of how big the fires really are. Pretty amazing technology. Way to go Google. Good luck Cali.

Madness from Toronto!

2007-10-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

Where the people are as crazy as anywhere else!

Church of Scientology. Broad daylight. A block down the street, there was a crazy motherfucker who was walking like an ape with a can of spraypaint in his hand. He would leer at people, then get down on his knees and start tagging the bottom of the lightposts that dotted the downtown city street. One dude gave him the most wicked arched brow, and the crazy guy gave him the craziest leer in the world, then walked down 10 meters and started to spray the bottom of the next lamp post. Fucking crazy. Fuck.king crazy.

So, if you saw a guy spraypainting lamp posts what would you do? Would you give him an unapproving arched brow? Would you ignore him? or would you take pictures like I did?

Packers are 3-0

2007-09-25T17:11:00.000-07:00

..And John Madden is creaming his fucking pants he's such a Favre fan.

Therefore, I must destroy old art to make a twisted version of what must transpire through John Madden's mind when he commentates on a Packers game.

Maddenlangelo's The Creation of John

What did you learn today?

2007-09-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm working the lights and audio at the "Fashion Week" at the Bellevue Square Mall right now. This is the first "fashion show" I've ever been to.

You know what I learned today? You don't have to be hot to be a model... Not even close.

BEER ME!!!!

2007-09-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hey guys Fremont Oktober Fest. Sept 21-3. Fremontoktoberfest.com

BumberShoot

2007-08-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

Is any one planning to hit up bumbershoot? If so what days. I Plan on going one day but i am not sure which day.

Updated Profile

2007-08-22T11:30:00.001-07:00

I updated my profile. How's it look?

Janwril Mayhem: When are you back from kandia?

George Carlin Coming To Town

2007-08-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

He will be at the Benaroya Hall on September 28th.

Tickets go on sale this Saturday. I'd be willing to go, anyone else? I've been wanting to see him live!

JIM GAFFIGAN IN SEATTLE

2007-08-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

So I just bought 6 tickets for Sunday, November 4th @ 7pm.

Price is $50 even per ticket.

I get one, Paul wants one. Let me know if you want a ticket.

Nancy Grace Sucks

2007-08-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

Ha Ha!! Its still up!

I made my own Movie!

2007-08-09T18:46:00.001-07:00

Round 2

2007-08-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

So after telling everyone at work about skydiving I have a couple of people who want to go. I am also thinking about get certified for solo jumping as well and from how I read it you need to jump every 30 days it order to get certified. I am going to call them tomorrow and get reservations for myself and people from work so let me know if you want to go as well. This time were going to snohomish because its a hell of a lot closer. Let me know by tomorrow it you want to go again.

A Magazine for the Boys Over Seas

2007-08-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

Lonely? Need some good animal lovin? Or just like to look at people get loved by animals... Paul... Then check this one out!

Always Bet on Duke

2007-08-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

Flash Video here!

Jeff-Justin Text Conversation

2007-08-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Wanted everyone to see the events leading up-to and following finding out that Jeff was not going to skydive. I burned the shit out of him. Basterd...

Text to Jeff on Monday: You still in for friday/saturday?

From Jeff: I guess :-( I'm piss broke but then again, I'm gonna buy a laptop.

to Jeff: Laptops can wait. You need to live first!

*rest of texts are irrelevent*

Text from Allan Wednesday: Jeff can't go jump because he has pink eye!

I immediately call Allan. Conversation went something like..blah blah Jeff is a doosh..blah blah..pussy...blah blah..asshole...blah blah...lucky he got pink eye because I knew he wasn't going to go...blah blah blah...

Text to Jeff: doosh

From Jeff: fuck that ill still go if u want!!!! Hhahahaa

To Jeff: lol Naw its cool. You dont have to go if Youre scared.

From Jeff: Sheit. Don't use my stripper!

To Jeff: U know u still owe me $30. I put the deposit when u were still down.

From Jeff: Haha np

To Jeff: Call it the Pussy Fee

Fom Jeff: Ha!! I got hosed!.....for the next 2 weeks

SO... I was pretty much a dick to him. But he is a dick for sleeping with his contacts in and getting Pink Eye!

Soundboards!

2007-07-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

Boss from Office Space

Office Space

Boss from Office Space

Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction and Negotiator

Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction

Future President Ahnold "I'm a cop, you idiot!" Shwartzenneger

The Better News...

2007-07-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

So, I was reflecting on penetrating Paul's Mom's ovaries, when I realized what the better news was from Tom's terrible joke.

"Then what's the better news?"
"Paul's Mom's crabs are still bigger than the crabs we pulled from your wife."

Olympic Death march...second try

2007-07-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

So...what's everyone doing this weekend? We should follow through with the Olympic Death march plans that Tom tried to instigate some time ago. Possibly some camping could be involved. We should start another email chain for this event...Justin?

Skydive Being Scheduled

2007-07-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm calling at End of Business today to schedule a jump for 8 people on August 4th at the Oregon jump site. If anyone has any problems with this, email or call be BEFORE the 5pm today (Monday).

http://www.skydiveoregon.com/

Rock and roll show at 6:00 in Seattle

2007-07-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

The band is called KEG. It starts at 6:00 in Seattle (studio seven) If you are interested, let me know, cos I'm heading up there after work.

Bill Gates at his finest...

2007-06-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hilarious nerd parody...

Good stuff for the germanically humored

2007-06-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for a good rouse, you might want to check out Didn'tSeeIt.com.

There are some great reviews of recent movies that might provide a little insight into the highlights of this summers blockbusters. They have great reviews for Hostel II, Live Free or Die Hard, 1408, and even Transformers. Be sure to put on your 'german humor' hat before you jump in, or you just might get lost!

By the way, this post sounded really gay because I wanted to provide a small precursor to the sarcasm that was to come at DidntSeeIt.com

Operation Starry Night

2007-06-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

"Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it." - Clerk on Simpsons (not Apu)

I'm planning on spending about $100 on fireworks. It isn't much, but I'll prolly end up spending more eventually. Anyone have plans? I have none yet, but I know I want to cause trouble.

The real Happy Gilmore/Chubs Incident

2007-06-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

VENICE, Florida (AP) -- A man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb when a nearly 11-foot alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water, authorities said.

Bruce Burger, 50, was trying to retrieve his ball Monday from a pond on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club.

The alligator latched on to Burger's right forearm and pulled him in the pond, said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Burger used his left arm to beat the reptile until it freed him.

"I saw him reach down to get his ball and he yelled" for help, said Janet Pallo, who was playing the fifth hole and ran over to drive the man to the clubhouse.

Burger, from Lenoir City, Tennessee, was taken to a hospital but was not seriously injured, Morse said Tuesday.

It took seven Fish and Wildlife officers an hour to trap the one-eyed alligator, which measured 10 feet, 11 inches, Morse said.

The pond at the sixth hole has a "Beware of Alligator" sign.

"Unfortunately, that's part of Florida," course general manager Rod Parry said. "There's wildlife in these ponds."

The link to the story on CNN.com

"Next Blog" Sabatoge!!

2007-06-24T22:11:00.001-07:00

Everyone click the 'Next Blog' link at the top and post some gratuitous fucked up stuff that will piss the blog creator off. Post here what their stupid ass log was about and how you defiled it. BE SURE TO POST AS ANONYMOUS! They will track your ass down.

My 'Next Blog' was someone posting as their pet cats. I didn't come up with this idea until after I read their page so I didn't do anything too bad. Just responded with "yer fyuked up". I will do another 'Next Blog' and try to make them cry.

FUCKING GRADUATION!!

2007-06-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

Assholes are Graduating on Friday so we are boozing Friday night.

I won't be leaving Bellevue until 5pm so we need to make arrangements to meet somewhere and get Jeff and Allen fuckered up.

I want Allen to puke. He's an asshole. Who's in?

LewiS BLACK

2007-06-18T21:37:00.001-07:00

~~I'm gonna buy tickets tomorrow.~~ Tickets were sold out

From what I remember, Earectile, Adm1n, and Johhny - youse guys wanna go. Confirm here on the board. It's saturday, like somewhere around 7 or 9 o ' clock. So I bet there will be some scalpers. Tickets according to ticket master were 37 to 42 bucks.

Don't mess with the squirrels in Germany!!

2007-06-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Follow this link to see just what I mean...

Squirrel Fight

Joe Rogan handles Heckler

2007-06-14T23:45:00.001-07:00

"You're like basically a monkey with a language!"

Never give up, never surrender...your beer

2007-06-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Man shot after refusing to surrender beer

The Arizona Republic

A man was shot early Sunday when he refused to give an attacker his 12-pack of beer.
Phoenix police reported the man suffered four gunshot wounds to the stomach, leg and groin. His injuries were described as serious, but not life-threatening.

The victim was returning home from purchasing the beer about 5 a.m near Seventh Street and Broadway Road when an unidentified man approached him and demanded the alcohol, police said.

When the victim refused, the shooter opened fire with a .45 caliber handgun, police said.
The victim was transported to a local hospital. He is expected to recover, police said.
http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/daily/local/54211.php

I think this guy is my new hero. He really payed an arm and a leg for that twelve pack, and probably didn't even get to drink it.

Muff...errr Skydive Coming!

2007-06-12T20:54:00.001-07:00

Only a few more weeks! I need to know who works weekends so I can plan and inform better.

Also, this is a test Blog start.

You Are Free to Post!

2007-06-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Okay I sent out posting invites. Earectile, Adm1n, and Johnny are free to post away. Take it and RUN with it. Freedom to the masses!

I love soccer

2007-06-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Let's celebrate the diversity of hot chicks from across the globe. World Cup Women click here.

So the weather is good today. What's everyone doing after work? Rush hour?

Olympic Death March

2007-06-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday is the day of the Olympic Death March.

It is a hike up in the Olympics.

The best route is to take the Edmonds Fairy and drive up 101.

Then, at Sol Duc, the drive begins into the National Park.

Old Growth Forests, waterfalls, and eventually, ancient Indian burial grounds, which Justin will no doubt spoil with urine.

We begin early..

GOD EARTH

2007-05-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ear/Rectile Dysfunkshun, this must be done!

I think this will be my last blashpemous post for the week.

BTW I Will Be Back This Weekend. Static X on Sunday. If The Weather Is Good, I'm Going To The Beach.

JESUS SHARK

2007-05-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know if any of you have heard of this yet, but some very interesting religious events have taken place in an aquarium.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/05/23/eashark23.xml

Shark's virgin birth stuns scientists

A female hammerhead shark has given birth without the help of a male, after genetic tests revealed that its baby shark had no paternal DNA.

O M G W T F I don't know if you know what this means, but by the title of this post, I think you do..

Jesus has returned to us in the form of a shark. What does this mean? Will we see the same civil, nonviolent wussy jerk of 2000 years old?

(Jesus the 00 AD version.)

OR will we see a Jesus more fit for the 21st century. One that doesn't mind taking a bite out of sin.

(the MEGA JESUS 2000)

Party at Adm1n's

2007-05-17T08:05:00.000-07:00

There will be a party at Adm1ns. There is a chance that a century challenge may occur. Other possibilities for this would be Bernards place, Brea's place, or my place.

BBQ Today

2007-05-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

Alright guyzzzzz the items listed yesterday are the same items I am bringing. Also I have rib sauce and bbq sauce.

earrectile dysfunction is bringing ribs.

Adm1n is bringing hamburgers and buns and beer.

Also I bumped into Bret at safeway last night. He said he'd bring steaks. holy cow.

I hope the weather maintains. It looks cloudy where I am at.

BBBQ

2007-05-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

Hello!

There will be a barbeque on wednesday at my place.

What I have:

Portable Barbeque
1/2 bag charcoal and lighter fluid
Tongs, spatulas, brush, sauce brushes
Cooler & Ice packs

NOTE: Cordell is not invited. Do not tell him.

PS: The extra 'B' is for BYOBB

General Mayhem : General Protocol

2007-05-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hello !

Welcome to the first of its kind - Burn Board. Our mission statement is to reflect and learn from the past, procastinate in the present, and plan for the future.

Feel free to add to this mission statement.

Or remove from it.

Especially the part which says reflect and learn. That part really needs to be removed.